1 How do I play 4.3 games without updateing
I assume you mean, "how do I play games that require installing a new IOS, without updating the System Menu?"
If you use Gecko OS instead of the Disc Channel to play games, and a new game requires the installation of a new IOS, Gecko OS will read the update partition on the disc and install the new IOS
without updating the System Menu. So just use Gecko OS instead of the Disc Channel for all games.
2 My little brother updated his WII so what are his options
If the Homebrew Channel was already installed and updated to 1.0.8, then updating the System Menu is safe.
If the HBC was not installed, or was out-of-date, then you will need to re-run the Hackmii Installer to get HBC. This requires a gamesave exploit of some sort if you're on 4.3. Read this whole post, specifically the part about exploits and the Hackmii Installer.
http://wiird.l0nk.org/forum/index.php/topic,6843.msg59070.html#msg59070